Today's Draw: The Hazel-nut from the Celtic Book of the Dead. Do you get enough love? Would you like to feel more? What is the best kind of love to have in your life?
The topic I've chosen for this week is "how to feel more love in your life". I worded this "how to FEEL more love in your life" as opposed to "how to GET more love in your life" for a couple of reasons. One is that I think we all have more love in our lives than we realize, we just don't notice or appreciate it. The other reason is that feeling more love will naturally attract more love into our lives.
I think love is the key to more than we consciously admit it is. When we feel love—are able to give and receive it freely, without fear—we fill that hole in our lives that we otherwise fill with drugs, drama, judgment...all sorts of things. Think of it. When you're in love, you feel kinder toward the world. More forgiving. You want to treat yourself well. You're content.
The problem is, people tend to place the lion's share of importance on romantic love, so if our romantic life isn't feeling lovey, we don't feel loved. We convince ourselves that there many kinds of love, all existing on a hierarchy and some kinds are better than others. Because of this, many people will snatch up any romantic opportunity rather than feel like a "loser". Which often ends them up in loveless relationships. Go figure. But the thing is, love is love. Sure, you share different expressions of it with your children than you do your husband. But love is love.
Anywho, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm doing all this yapping before I've even chosen a card! *shuffling deck and pulling the Hazel-nut card* So today's way to feel more love is to first become conscious of feeling it. The Hazel-nut card tells us to test the situation before us with all of our senses. It's a card of gleaning wisdom, counsel and inspiration from within.
What an amazing answer! Because most of the time we trudge through life unconscious of what's in front of us. Since I live alone and work alone and am generally unattached, you'd think I'd have a hard time feeling lots of love in my life. And I did. Until I started looking around me and saw and felt the love on offer. I have friends and family members who float a lot of love my way. And instead of taking it for granted, I stop and feel it sometimes. Their love helps me feel more self love which, let's face it, is the necessary foundation for feeling any love at all.
But my MAJOR source of love is my two dogs. I mean, really, what's better than rolling around in a bottomless pit of unconditional love and adoration? Really! Where else will you find creatures that want to be right next to you 24/7/365? And if you leave for even as much as two seconds, they're pining for you. I mean, really, what is better than that?!
It's so easy to overlook the source of love our pets give. Or that we get from our family. We come to expect that love and dismiss it. Like there's some better kind of love out there that's eluding us. Or like it doesn't count. Instead of feeling it multiple times a day, every day, we slough it off and only feel it on anniversaries when someone has gone out of their way for us, as though that's the only kind of love that counts. Humans tend to always seek better than we have...better cars, better clothing, better homes...when, for most of us, we already have everything we want and need. The only things we DON'T have are gratitude and appreciation. So we walk around unsatisfied. And that's how we'll always be, because that's all we ever allow ourselves to be.
I honestly can't tell you how many women I know (myself included at one point) who have poo-pooed the love of their family and pets because "it's not the same as having a man love me! Waaahhhhh!" So they walked around miserable and needy until some man came along. And it was usually a man incapable of satisfying the "need", because no matter how much love was floated their way, it was never enough, the right kind or timed correctly. Sorry to be blunt, but if you don't have enough love in your life, it's not the world that's broken. It's your ability to accept and feel love.
So the lesson of the Hazel-nut is to bring the consciousness of your senses into your relationships. When your husband hugs you, feel the love in it. Become conscious of the energy flowing from his heart to yours. Allow yourself to love back. That man could be living a completely different life without you. Appreciate the fact that he's chosen to be there, with you, in this moment, holding you. That alone is a huge expression of love. Forget for just a minute that you sometimes feel like you're drifting apart. Forget that he left his towel on the bathroom floor. Feel the reason why he's still there...feel his love.
Maybe your daughter is a teenager and tells you she hates you. Feel the love in that! Remember when you were 16? You didn't really mean it. You just wanted more power in your life and your mother got in the way. Feel the love that's REALLY there. And if you can't feel that, feel the love you feel for her. Love is just as good when you're giving it as it is when you're receiving it. What the receiver does with it doesn't matter. Feel how you feel giving it....how you feel opening your heart and letting love flow unconditionally.
Not a day goes by that I don't take time out to consciously hold my dogs and love on them...and allow them to love me back. In fact, every morning we have a "mommy's awake!" celebration with kisses and adoration and wagging tails. They both patiently wait until I've checked my mail and am ready to receive them, then they can't get to me fast enough.
They also have things they particularly like to do with me that I indulge, like sitting outside at night and just sitting. With me. And then they like to climb up on the sofa and rest their heads on me. And it's so easy to not notice or to dismiss those moments, but I've made a conscious habit of seeing them as what they are...expressions of love...and I drink them in. If you have a pet, start noticing and participating in the many shows of love they offer each day. And, when you can, stop what you're doing. Make it a priority.
One of the things that breaks my heart is that my girl, Magick, sometimes brings toys over to me to play with. She does this most frequently when I'm on the phone or loving on her brother or watching TV...when she feels jealous or neglected. Anyway, sometimes I'll get really lost in work or whatever. Then I'll look up from what I'm doing and see five toys at my feet. And I didn't even notice that she'd come to me! She wanted us to share lovey times and I didn't even look up!
How many times do you do that, whether literally or symbolically, with the people in your life? With family and friends? How much love are you too busy doing stupid stuff to receive...and give? How much love do you turn away? I'll bet if you started becoming conscious of all that's around you and really feeling it, you'd be overwhelmed by love...the way you've always wanted to be...the way we all should be.